LoveCostsNothing

Nudge What's that Don't make me look Nudge Who's there I don't care to remember Nudge It's me How could you forget I see the scars on your skin And I know why they're there You struggle with your image Your feelings of self-doubt All because when you were little You were nothing to them A dirty child for you to beat A filthy liar; how convenient The sticky thief to make you mad You remember now The stories she told You remember watching Them turn away from you It wasn't true Not that it mattered You were just a dirty child Now a dirty adult Still hurting from the lies she told

Whether I’m laughing in awkward situations Or crying when everybody else smiles I go from wanting to stay in bed forever To wanting to run directionless for miles Normality just feels like silent floorboards And is something I most definitely fear See I need to creak every once in a while You won’t understand but I like being weird Talking when everybody else is silent Being deathly quiet in a maelstrom of noise As I decide if I’ll be your friend today But I promise that you are not just a toy Normality just feels like empty nightscapes And is something I most definitely fear I need the stars to spell out my last name Do

I sent my child out to school today With cuts up the length of her arm Knowing that the teachers will just say She doesn't seem the type to self harm I just hope today isn't the day For physical education class I’ll give her a note to be excused But how long can these excuses last? Such a happy girl, always smiling Or so they’re lead to believe at least Such a happy girl, always smiling They don’t know her father is a beast I sent my wife out to work today With the remnants of a bloody nose And bruises to her upper arms That I was hoping would not show I will buy her a long sleeved shirt As a gift to apologise Tell her

What to do when you're depressed: When life's too hard, when you're too stressed. Can you shake your head, make it go away? Yes you can, but day by day. What to do when you're depressed: Count your blessings, when you're blessed. Not everyday can you escape the fog, so when you can, thank friends, thank God. What to do when you're depressed: Slow down, relax and love life less. You don't have to enjoy the summer sun. October chill is just as fun.

It's just a teenage tear, it will dry Sorry, but I think I'm going down No apologies are necessary I can tell you don't want me around It's just another day it will pass The sun will not wait for me to change I will be easily replaced in your heart Now doesn't that seem ever so strange It's just a lonely world I live in Not even close to the one where I was raised At what point did I become so lost? And how long do I wait to be saved? It's just a teenage heart that has broke But this time I am afraid it is mine It now only exists in pieces Too many to piece back together this time

So the morning has once again broken Into shattered pieces of a brand new day And I’m trying to avoid asking myself If I’m here and if I’m feeling okay You see, yesterday I fractured my mind Now today I am avoiding the cracks That pave my path towards recovery But one day I promise I’ll get back ‘You will get back to where exactly?’ With puzzled faces I hear my friends ask To a point where I feel I am capable Of completing simple every day tasks That each one of you will take for granted But are the fabric of my sanity That I will weave into a blanket of hope To shelter my mind from misery Now the even

Don’t you remember a long time before I held you close as the thunder roared. When you were hurt I never left your side Why do you fuel the pain that I feel inside. I was always there for you on the street and at home But you’re never there for me and I feel so alone you’re the most important person in the world to me. I’d give my heart and soul for you oh, why can’t you see. I picked you up and off the ground I give my heart to you But you just pushed me down and broke my heart in two. You threw me in harm’s way to save yourself but I would’ve gone anyway without your help. Cause, I was always

here we are at my last message here I am at this small letter I do not wish to end but I will because I'm selfish and I want to you faster in my life forever because finally I am where no man has ever gone before in this unreal life I'm living with my olympian daringly coming out my trap opening my heart and welcoming you with or without the music as I unconsciously wandered through this adventure through my country and globally where the wounded and the broken are extinct after the war where overall I found my freedom falling head over heels and hopelessly in love with you and got lost without a map as I see now that I've written a poem more

I'm going to kill myself. Not tonight. Probably not tomorrow. But I leave in the morning to go back to school, And I have a feeling I won't be coming home. I should probably be more concerned. Oh well.